100 Things Max Would Never Let Us Do
by thenomnomkitty
Summary: If Max suddenly slacked off in her leaderness, what would happen to the Flock? Join Fang, Iggy, Dylan, Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel, as they push the limits of Max's patience.  T for mild language and situations, and who knows what my mind will churn out?
1. Chapter 1

Maximum Ride: 100 Things Max Would Never Let Us Do.

A/N: Haven't read Angel, as soon as I finish it you will see those characters here.

This is inspired by 100 Things I'm Not Allowed To Do (at CHB) (on Mt. O.) by Taylur. I just MR-ified it. It's all the crazy things the Flock would do without Max keeping them in line... mostly. It's the same... but different.

I DO NOT OWN MR OR PEPSI OR BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S (movie and/or song) OR ANYTHING ELSE YOU RECOGNIZE OKAY? This is a site called FANFICTION, obviously no one on here owns anything you recognize.

**1. Max would never let us have all-night full-blast karaoke contests.**

"AND I SAID WHAT ABOUT BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S-" Nudge sang as loud as she could, earplugs in, dancing around in that kind of way you can only dance at 3 AM after around 10 Pepsi's.

"What the flock is going on?" Max yelled as she walked in, still half asleep.

No one noticed, thanks to Nudge's amazingly loud karaoke machine.

**2. Max would never let us guest star on Mythbusters.**

"We have a couple of explosives experts here today," said Adam as Gazzy and Iggy walked in. "Wait a second... Aren't you two a little young to be explosives experts?"

"Yes." Iggy replied without a thought, in a very Phineas-and-Ferb-esque way. "Yes we are."

"I'd like to see you build a bomb out of a radio, an alarm clock, and some gunpowder." Gazzy grmbled.

At this, Adam and Jamie nodded, allowing them into their hangar thing.

**3. Max would never let us live in the Swiss Family Treehouse.**

"Dibs!" Nudge and Angel yelled at the same time upon entering the Swiss Family Treehouse in Disney World at 2 AM or so.

**4. Max would never let us own timeshares in the Caribbean.**

"What are you doing?" Max asked suspiciously as she walked up behind Fang and Iggy, as they hunched over the laptop.

"Nothing..." They said a little too innocently.

"Hey guys! Did you get us that room at Disn... nevermind." Nudge burst into the room, and burst right out again when she noticed Max.

**5. Max would never let us have a food fight in Anne's kitchen.**

"FOOD FIIIIIIIIIIGHT!" Gazzy cried as he dumped leftover mashed potatoes on Fang's head.

"Oh, it's sooo on!" Fang yelled, grabbing a can of creamed corn and opening it.

"Fnick." Iggy muttered under his breath, only to feel 500mL of cream corn in his hair.

**6. Max would never let us write Percy Jackson crossover fanfiction with ourselves.**

"No way!" Fang yelled, attempting to wrestle the laptop from Nudge's hands. "I would TOTALLY be a son of Hades!"

"And I wanna be son of Hermes!" Gazzy protested to Nudge's decision that he was a son of Apollo.

"Again, guys?" Max walked in, exasperated. "Just leave it to the crazy fangirls on fanfiction, okay?

**7. Max would never let us EVER become bullriders in the Calgary Stampede.**

"You want to WHAT?" Max screamed.

"I want to be a bullrider." Iggy replied calmly as the stunned faces of the rest of the flock drifted in.

"Yeah, right." Dylan snorted. "Of COURSE Max will let the blind kid be a bullrider. Because that makes Perfect Sense."

**8. Max would never let us send up messages to the Nimrogs like in The True Meaning Of Smekday.**

"And their wives are bigger than they should be!" Six Avian Americans chorused into the microphone.

Max walked in, muttered some unintelligible about exploding foam aspirin and going to take some Tylenol.

**9. Max would never let us prank call the CIA about demon table lamps.**

"Alright, we'll get you and your siblings into Witness Protection as soon as we can." The calm voice on the other end of the phone told them. Five shocked birdkid faces glanced around.

"FAAAANG!" Four of them chorused out the door as the fifth yelled, "FNIIIIICK!"

"Did it work?" Fang popped his head in as Max sighed exasperatedly.

**10. Max would never let us bathe in raspberry jam. Like, ever.**

"Are you sure about this?" Iggy asked nervously as he dipped his foot into the jam. "You didn't put any explosives in here, did you?"

"He didn't. Also, you two are flying at the back of the flock for the next MONTH." Max stormed in, a victorious-looking Angel behind her.

A/N: Okay, great. I need more ideas. My cousins will help me for now. I would love help, though.

Nommy 33

(And her cousins 'Your Face' 'Microwave Popcorn' and 'Ninja Jedi Squirrel AKA koalaaaaaah' (Don't ask. They came up with these.)


	2. Chapter 2

100 Things Max Would Never Let Us Do.

**11. Max would never let us sunbathe in a volcano.**

"I'm not so sure about this..." Gazzy peered over the lip of the volcano.

"Relax, Gazzy!" Nudge laughed as she flew ten feet below. "It's great for your pores!"

The Gasman shrugged, before jumping in.

**12. Max would never let us put Iggy and Angel on Wheel of Fortune as a team.**

"A?" Iggy and Angel chorused together. Thirteen spaces lit up.

**13. Max would never let us auction off Fang's hair as Jackie Chan's.**

"This is a freaking GOLDMINE!" Dylan exclaimed as he watched figures flash by on eBay.

"How much?" Fang demanded as he clipped off another too-long lock.

"Three thousand!" Gazzy exclaimed. "In FIVE MINUTES!"

**14. Max would never let us chug toothpaste.**

"CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG!" The Flock cheered as Dylan pushed the tube's contents into his mouth.

"I'm not feeling so-" Dylan abruptly vomited all over the bathroom floor, and, most unfortunately, the Flock's feet.

"Gross!" Nudge exclaimed, jumping up.

**15. Max would never let us let Iggy drive.**

"This. Is. AWESOME!" Iggy exclaimed as he pulled another hairpin U-turn.

"Why?" Gazzy moaned as he held onto the seatbelt for dear life. The others had already flown home, but Gazzy had been determined to stick it through.

"Hey, it was YOUR idea!" Iggy yelled over his shoulder.

**16. Max would never let us ride inside a washing machine.**

"WHEEE!" Angel laughed from inside the washing machine.

"Oh. My. God. Who put Angel in the washing machine?" Max screamed at the top of her lungs as she glared accusingly at Fang and Iggy.

"Sorry." Iggy shrugged.

**17. Max would never let us create the largest nuclear bomb in history inside Dr Martinez'.**

Max watched her mother's house go up in a ball of flame, like, FOOM.

"I probably should have stopped them, but that was one hell of a mushroom cloud."

**18. Max would never let us become casino magicians.**

"Uh, Fang, I think the saw is actually cutting me..." Angel whispered out of the corner of her mouth as she smiled merrily at the audience in the casino.

"Relax, Ange. I re- ohs—tIforgotsomething." Fang grinned from underneath his top hat.

**19. Max would never let us become international pop stars.**

"Will you cut that noise out?" Max bellowed at the six people singing –rather badly, may I add— in the living room.

"But, MAAAAAX!" Nudge and Angel whined. "We're INTERNATIONAL POP STARS!"

"Yeah, yeah." Max sighed. "Do you have any earplugs?"

**20. Max would never let us joust with chairs.**

"YAAAAH!" Iggy and Fang cried as they ran at each other from behind chairs.

As they crashed together, Nudge, Gazzy, Angel, and Dylan cheered.

Max didn't even bother by this point.

**A/N:** Anyone have suggestions? My cousins 'Your Face' 'Microwave Popcorn' and 'Ninja Jedi Squirrel' helped again. Thanks to the two people who have reviewed so far. Although, IT IS NOT REALLY MY IDEA. It's Taylur's. She's an amazing writer. Go follow her.


	3. Chapter 3

100 Things Max Would Never Let Us Do

**21. Max would never let us adopt a gerbil.**

"Holy freak, guys. It looks like a creeper. It's bad enough you had to go get a gerbil-" Max ranted, Fang and Iggy wincing at her words. "-but you just HAD to go get the one with the creepiest eyes in the world!"

"I'm gonna call him Bugsy," Nudge whispered to Gazzy and Angel. "Like in that one movie, you know, the one with the gumball rain-"

"He's so cute!" Gazzy laughed quietly. "But was the pink ribbon really necessary, Ange?"

**22. Max would never let us go to Taco Bell and order a Big Mac**.

"Alright, here's your Big Mac, kid. I don't have to understand _why_ you ordered a Big Mac from Taco Bell, but here it is." The salesperson handed a box to Iggy, who was glaring at Fang.

"You said this was McDonald's!"

**23. Max would never let us be ninjas with those nunchucks and stuff.**

"No. Just... No." Max put out her hand, and five pairs of nunchucks and eye-masts landed in it. "Give."

"No!" Fang yelled, cradling his nunchucks. "The power of Chuck Norris compels you!" Fang gestured to the two photographs of Chuck Norris hastily taped on.

"Yeah," Max snorted. "And I'm the queen of England."

"Seriously, girl." Chuck Norris appeared behind the rest of the Flock(who were facing down Fang and his nunchuck-Norris-es.) "He can keep the nunchucks."

**24. Max would never let us TP a house. (The Martinez's in particular.)**

"MAAAX!" Dr Martinez bellowed throughout the house.

"WHAT IS IT MOM?" Max yelled back.

"When did I give you permission to cover the house in toilet paper?" Dr Martinez glared as she approached Ella's room, where the Flock was sitting.

"What do you..." Max trailed off, looking behind her at her flock. They were all hiding smiles.

"Sorry?" The flock—and Ella—winced.

**25. Max would never let us change our names to ridiculously long royal-sounding names.**

"Would you care for some more tea, Princess Cammelia Roselyn Monique Josephine Catherine Dahlia Insert-Last-Name?"

Fang asked Nudge, in case you can't tell.

"Why, thank you, Crown Prince Henry Nicholas William Jerry-the-moustache Charles Insert-Other-Last-Name." Nudge giggled, taking the cup of kool-aid Fang offered her.

"Might you want some more as well, Prince James Brendan Donald Eric Frederick?" Fang passed a cup of kool-aid to Iggy.

"How about you, Princess Leah Rhiannon Malika Sarah Candace Margaret Anne?" Iggy passed a cup to Angel.

"Prince Theodore Edward Walter Ryan Louis Roy?" Angel offered another cup (passed to her by Fang) to Gazzy.

"Come on, guys." Max sighed as she walked in, Dylan trailing behind her. "If you're going to do something this ridiculous, at least include Dylan."

**26. Max would never let us have who-can-yell-the-loudest contests while she and Fang are having, um, 'special' time.**

"AAAAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Angel screamed as Iggy, Dylan, Nudge, and Gazzy covered their ears.

"What are you doing?" Max walked out of her room, her hair messed up, and pulling down her shirt.

"Screaming contest." Iggy shrugged.

"Max..." Fang's voice drifted from behind th bedroom door. "Come back to bed..."

Iggy snickered. Max facepalmed. She was NEVER gonna hear the end of this.

**27. Max would never let us compete on Jeopardy.**

"What city, known as the city of cowboys and culture, is the fifth-fastest growing city in America?" Alex Trebek asked on a special, 'Team Jeopardy' episode.

"What is, uh, Fort Worth, Texas?" Iggy asked unsurely as Gazzy and Nudge were seen doing hand games in the background of their till.

"Correct!" Alex Trebek clapped. "And that was our Daily Double, awarded to Max, Fang, Iggy, Dylan, Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel of (city name), Colorado, for 2000 dollars!"

The Flock then exhanged high-fives.

**28. Max would never let us figure out how to sunburn our wings.**

"Maaaaaaax!" Iggy, Fang, and Dylan moaned as they tried to put aloe vera lotion on their very sunburned wings. "They huuuuuuurt!"

"You're old enough to know to put on sunscreen when it's 90*F out!" Max glared as she spread sunscreen between Nudge's feathers. "I **told** you not to come crying to me when you get the nastiest sunburn in history, but NOOO!"

**29. Max would never let us cover Iggy's face in peanut butter while he's asleep. Or Total's, for that matter.**

"Max?" Iggy walked into the kitchen with Total, both their faces completely covered in peanut butter. "What the flock happened last night? Did we have a party or something?"

"FANG YOU ARE SO GONNA GET IT!" Max screamed as she ran around the house.

Gazzy walked up with a piece of toast and smeared it down Iggy's face. "Thanks!"

**30. Max would never let us have a week-long Nyan Cat marathon.**

"Come on guys! We have to go save the world and s—t!"Max yelled at her flock. They had fallen asleep in front of the computer, which was playing extremely repetitive music and read "604800.67"and continued climbing.

Things I do not own in this chapter, in order of appearance:

~Maximum Ride (the series and all characters)

~Bugsy

~Bedtime Stories

~Taco Bell

~Big Macs

~McDonald's

~Chuck Norris

~The Queen of England

~TPing houses

~Ridiculously long names

~Who Can Yell The Loudest contests

~Uhm... [snicker] "special time"

~Jeopardy

~Alex Trebek

~Fort Worth, Texas

~Peanut butter

~Nyan Cat

Things I DO own in this chapter:

~At least one roll of TP

~A voice

~A rather nasty sunburn

~Some toast

~Six hundred four thousand eight hundred point six seven seconds of nyancat (www . nyan . cat)

Thanks to my cousins "Girlsmell" (formerly your face) "Microwave Popcorn" and "Ninja Jedi Squirrel"

And

Taylur

who's idea this was originally, she deserves those "add story"s more than I do. I talked to her and she says she's cool with me doing this, so I will survive to see the light of another day... probably.

My friend C.C., who showed me NyanCat.

My iPod, who's there for me even when the power in the house isn't.

AAAND

Trail mix, for sustaining me all day to write this.

Need more ideas, all my cousins have left is jumping off things into other things, and the Flock can escape that.

Nommy


	4. Chapter 4

100 Things Max Would Never Let Us Do

**31. Max would never let us ask if she used tongue when she kissed Fang.**

"Hey MAAAAAX!" Dylan ran up and screamed in her ear.

"What, Dylan?" Max yelled, obviously at the end of her rope because of the Flock's shenanigans.

"Did you use tongue?"

"What?" Max was very very obviously taken aback.

"Y'know, when you kissed Fang that on-" Keeping this G-Rated, or possibly PG, let's just say Dylan will be out of the equation on sick leave for the next little while.

**32. Max would never let us wrestle Pokemon.**

"FANG! FANG! FANG!" The crowd cheered as Fang walked into the ring.

"Fang will be fighting a Level-100 Raichu today," A booming announcers voice called out as Fang rollled his shoulders, wings fully extended.

Once they were in the ring, it was a long and dreary battle. Eventually, Fang won.

**33. Max would never let us each drink a pot of coffee.**

The Flock lay all around the room, each giggling, making everyyone seem very OOCish.

"Okay, I'm never buying that much coffee again." Max declared loudly.

**34. Max would never let us re-enact one of those "DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME" things.**

According to Max, this one was not PG, more like 18A, so I am not typing it.

**35. Max would never let us play cops 'n' robbers with REAL cops.**

"You know, I think I'll leave you here for the night," Max said through the jail bars.

"But... It's the season finale of Gossip Girl!" Nudge exclaimed.

"It'll teach you that Grand Theft Auto is stupid."

**36. Max would never let us be in a dog-sled race with Total.**

"Mush!" Iggy yelled. "Come on, Total, run!"

"No." Total crossed his arms as much as a dog can. "This is undignifying."

"You staged a full-blown wedding for two dogs." Iggy tried to hide a smile. "It can't get undignifying-er than that."

**37. Max would never let us act out violent movies in the living room.**

"BLAM!" Gazzy yelled, jumping up and down to simulate bombs.

"BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOOOOM!" Fang held up an imaginary gun, shooting everything in sight.

"What are you doing now?" Max sighed defeatedly.

**38. Max would never let us switch personalities with each other.**

"Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah gossip girl blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah flying blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah hair blah blah blah blah blah blah makeup blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah." said the Gasman, in an imitation of Nudge.

"BBPT." Iggy made a fart noise with his hands.

Angel stood silent, imitating Fang.

"Nudge," Fang stared at her, deep in thought. "Don't think that."

Nudge poked a can of Coke with a pencil to see if it would blow up.

**39. Max would never let us try to break the world record for eating the most Snickers bars.**

"I... feeeeel... siiiiiick..." Fang moaned, laying on his stomach in a field of Snickers wrappers.

"Serves you right for not sharing." Angel glared.

**40. Max would never let us sing romantic music whenever she and Fang are together.**

"Caaaan you feeeeeeel, the loooooove toniiiiight!" Nudge, Angel, Gazzy, and Iggy chorused as Fang and Max walked in, hand in hand.

"Knock it off, guys..." Max blushed.

Things I do not own:

~Max

~Fang

~Iggy

~Dylan

~Dylan's injuries

~Nudge

~Gazzy

~Angel

~Mind-reading/psychokinesis

~Pokemon

~Raichu

~Wings

~Coffee

~OOCness

~Cops 'N' Robbers

~Real cops

~Gossip Girl

~Grand Theft Auto

~Dog-sledding

~Total

~Total and Akila's wedding

~Violent movies

~Coke

~Pencils

~Snickers

~Guiness Book of World Records

~The Lion King

And thanks to everyone who reviewed and gave me these ideas. I don't feel like going and searching up your names, and also, thank you Taylur for telling people about this! YOU ROCK!

Nommy


	5. Chapter 5

100 Things Max Would Never Let Us Do.

**41. Max would never let Angel play Black Ops.**

"DIE DIE DIEE!" Angel screeched as she sat close to the TV, Xbox controller in hand.

"... Angel?" Max stood in the doorway. "What are you doing?"

"Iggy left some game called Cod Black Oops in the Xbox and Gazzy stole my games so I decided to play this one instead." Angel shrugged, like it was no big deal.

**42. Max would never let us tell her that she is like Bella, and Fang and Dylan are like Edward and Jacob.**

"Oh. My. God." Nudge froze as they walked through the mall. "MAX MAX MAX!"

"What?" Max snapped. Max was BEYOND the end of her rope now, and Nudge insisting on a shopping trip was pushing her to her emergency limits.

"You're like... Bella Swan!" Nudge exclaimed, hands thrown up like she had just made a huge realization.

"What?" Max choked on her bubble tea (which was actually pretty good, for having it forced on her.)

"Am not!"

"Yes you are!" Nudge smiled, she loved talking about her latest obsession, Twilight. "And... and Fang is like Edward Cullen!"

Fang choked as he walked up. "What the f—k are you talking about? I'm not."

"And... Dylan is Jacob Black!" Nudge squealed.

"I'm leaving." Iggy declared, storming off with Gazzy.

"But... it's true!"

**43. Max would never let us shave Dylan's head in the middle of the night, then watch him freak out in the morning.**

"WHAT THE F—K WHERE'S MY HAIR?" Dylan screamed.

"So glad you talked me into that one." Fang cracked up as Dylan stumbled into the kitchen.

"The... look... on... his... face..." Gazzy choked on his laughter.

**44. Max would never let us buy Gazzy an electric guitar.**

"Look a distraction!" Angel yelled, pulling Max away from the music store as Iggy and the Gasman snuck out with a brand-new electric guitar.

**45. Max would never let us walk across a seven-lane highway blindfolded. **

"And... RUN!" Fang yelled as he slid his blindfold over his eyes, sprinting with the Flock behind him over the highway.

"Stupidest... idea... EVER..." Iggy panted on the other side.

**46. Max would never let Ig and Gazzy set off fireworks in the local mall.**

"An unidentified-source firen caused major damage to a local mall earlier today," the announcer faced the camera. "Police suspect arson, and residue was found from fireworks inside the food court shortly after the fire."

"Iggy?" Max asked calmly, muting the TV.

"... Yes?" He answered.

"Did you blow up a mall today?"

"... ... ... Yeah?"

**47. Max would never let us get Netflix.**

"Come on, guys." Max called, searching through the house. "We gotta go."

"Just a sec." Gazzy held up a finger, completely absorbed with the image onscreen. "It's that awkward moment when Harry kisses Cho in the Room of Requirement."

**48. Max would never let us play Angry Birds in the middle of a battle.**

"DIE DIE DIE!" Gazzy yelled, flicking his fingers against the iPod's screen.

"GAZZYLOOKOUTRIGHTBEHIND-" Max yelled.

The M-Geek conked Gazzy in the head, which earned him (the M-Geek) a whiff of eau de le Gasman.

"That's what you get!" the Gasman spat at the crumpled figure. "I was two points from the high score in Angry Birds!"

**49. Max would never let us obtain Japanese fighting fish through the black market.**

"Aren't Total, Akila, and Bugsy enough pets?" Max yelled exasperatedly.

"Apparently not." Total sighed, walking up.

**50. Max would never let us get a lava lamp.**

"So... addicting..." Nudge stared into the lava lamp.

Max glared accusingly at Fang.

"Hey, at least she's quiet."

Things I don't own:

~Maximum Ride

~Black Ops

~Twilight, or anything affiliated with it

~An electric guitar

~Fireworks

~Or a local mall, for that matter.

~Netflix

~Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

~Angry Birds

~Erasers, Flyboys, M-Geeks, or other mutants

~Japanese or their fighting fish.

~Lava lamps... much as I wish.

In other news... Ideas for a sequel? We're halfway through, but this list is my baby now, thanks to you guys. Should I make a sequel? A "Volume 2?"

Nommy (who lavs u! But not creeperishly... okay, fine. Creeperishly.)


	6. Chapter 6

100 Things Max Would Never Let Us Do.

**51. Max would never let us use pottery wheels.**

"CLAY WAR!" Gazzy yelled, hitting Iggy square in the nose.

"Oh, it's on!" Iggy yelled, smashing some clay into Nudge's hair.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT'S GONNA TAKE TO GET THAT OUT?" Nudge yelled, hurling her half-formed pot at Gazzy's head.

**52. Max would never let Iggy make explosives for the United States Navy.**

"Alright, Mr Griffiths, the United States Navy thanks you for your contribution." The Navy guy shook Iggy's hand.

"It's been a pleasure working for you with my associates." Iggy nodded formally, as the Gasman sniggered in the background.

**53. Max would never let us tell Dylan Max lost her v-card to Fang.**

"Max WHAT?" Dylan exclaimed, feebly attempting to hop out of bed (even though he was completely covered in casts that weighed more than he did.)

"Lost..." Angel laughed hysterically. "Her... v-... card... to... FANG!" Gazzy and Nudge laughed wildly in the background.

**54. Max would never let us ask Dr. M if Jeb was good in bed.**

"Excuse me?" Dr Martinez exclaimed.

"Was... was Jeb good in bed?" The Gasman mumbled, then held up a sign that said "It was a dare" in large, preschooler-grade writing, with the e backwards and everything.

**55. Max would never let Nudge hack into government files.**

"Again, Nudge?" Max sighed.

"Well, yeah?" Nudge smiled weakly, for once keeping her mouth shut.

"How long?"

"Two and a half minutes, but that's when you count my popcorn break, and messing with Angel's fork in the kitchen, and waiting for the software to load..."

**56. Ma—Actually, FANG would never let us check under Fang's bed for Playboy magazines.**

"Alright, Stella, you know what to do," Angel whispered to the four-year-old who's parents Dr. M was having a dinner party with. Stella nodded, sneaking her way into Fang's room and grabbing the box covered with the letter "X" and running out.

"Great!" Angel exclaimed. "Now, I'll set up the Xbox for you, alright?"

(Insert short time lapse in which Angel pokes a bunch of holes in the box and gives Stella an Xbox controller and advice to troubleshoot herself.)

"PEWPEWPEWPEW!" Stella giggled, then poked the Xbox. She pulled the cords out, then opened the top of the box, revealing a rather hefty sash of Playboy magazines.

"No wonder my Xbox doesn't work!" Stella laughed loudly, opening a magazine. "It's full of naked people!"

Fang walked in, noticed what the little girl was holding, and promptly walked back out.

**57. Max would never let—or want, really—Angel look into Fang's mind while he's having dirty thoughts about Max.**

"EWEWEWEWEW!" Angel exclaimed, running—or flying, rather—around in circles." FANG THAT'S SO GROSS!"

**58. Max would never let us enter Total in a dog race.**

"Mush, Total!" Iggy exclaimed, sitting down behind the line.

"No!" declared Total. "This is undignifying!"

"Well, it's not any less dignifying than having a full-blown wedding for DOGS," mumbled Fang from the stands.

**59. Max would never let us enter Dylan into a male beauty pageant.**

"And now we have contestant number thirteen, Dylan!" The MC declared as Dylan walked onstage in a rather showy shirt and what appeared to be the Twilight cast's makeup.

Dylan gave the crowd what was likely supposed to be a smouldering look, instead looking like he was constipated.

"Dylan enjoys flying, cheese sandwiches, and staring at Maximum Ride."

**60. Max would never let Iggy streak down the streets of Manhattan.**

"FOR NARNIA!" Iggy bellowed, running down the middle of a street, naked. He brandished a foam sword in a few innocent civilians' faces. They slapped him with their mittened hands. It was the middle of December, after all.

And somehow, Taylur, I think he's more Greek than Hispanic. Dunno, think it has something to do with some MR fanart I saw on dA once. Wait... is Greek Hispanic? Or is Hispanic Spanish?

Things I don't own:

~Maximum Ride, all characters, scenes, themes, plot holes, etc., affiliated.

~A pottery wheel

~Clay

~The United States Navy

~Bombs

~Asking [person you know] if [other person [person you know] has slept with, 'f'ya know what I mean] is good in bed.

~Government files

~Popcorn

~The patent for forks

~Playboy magazine (ewewew someone wash my face off I can't believe I typed that)

~Stella, as much as I wish I did.

~Modest Medusa, where the Xbox-o'-nekkids idea came from. I'm sorry, it was just too good not to use. (www . modestmedusa . com)

~Xbox

~Troubleshooting

~Bad thoughts

~Dogsleds

~Dog races of any form

~Beauty pageants

~Emcees (MCs)

~Manhattan

~New York City

~Narnia

~Mittens

~December

~Streaking

Chapter five will come his weekend (I hope) because it isn't on my computer FUUU~


	7. Chapter 7

100 Things Max 7.

**61. Max would never let Nudge hack a random fanfictioner's (namely, me) account.**

Aaaaand... _Publish._

"Nudge?" Max looked over Nudge's shoulder suspiciously.

"Yes?" She answered sweetly, shutting off the computer.

"What was that?" Max asked, her totally-suspicious face on.

"Nothing?" Nudge replied.

**62. Max would never let us sing Justin Bieber after inhaling helium.**

"AND I WAS LIKE, BAAAAAAABY BAAAAAAABY BAAAAAAABY OOOOOOOHHH!" They screamed.

Max lay on the floor, grasping at her... euhm... chest (read: boob) before laying still, eyes closed.

"Max says her soul just imploded." Angel announced matter-of-factly.

**63. Max would never let us watch GLEE, because it would somehow end up with Gazzy, Fanfiction, and cherry pie.**

Gazzy threw the cherry pie at the computer, which showed our beloved website of fanfiction.

(A/N: I will leave you guys to interpret that. If you want, you can submit a one-shot about what happened, maybe if I get at least two I'll start it as a collab album)

**64. Max would never let us secretly videotape her and Fang.**

"Alright, world domination plan number six hundred seventy-three. What is our scene?" Max read off a sheet of paper.

Nudge clicked the off button on the remote. "We watched that way too long, guys. It was stupid."

**65. Max would never let us convince people we are planning to take over the world as Evil Overlords.**

"Yes, now proceed to Overlord Gasman to place your name in the safe list." Iggy nodded serenely at the tear-streaked woman, who walked over hesitantly.

**66. Max would never let us kidnap a random girl. (Okay, me.)**

"Why am I... here?" I asked, sitting up.

"Sorry about this, random girl Nudge hacked." Max sighed. "I'm pretty sure they did something to their food and are in a drug-induced haze."

"Eh, it's fine." I shrug. "_C'est la vie._" I say, actually in French.

**67. Max would never let us sing Friday by Rebecca Black with said kidnappee.**

"It's Friday, Fri-" I stopped my guitar, glaring at Fang.

"Come on, Fang. It's simple. C major, then A minor seven, which is just C without the ring finger, to F major, which is putting your fingers a string down and barring the B and E strings, to G, which is one of the easiest chords in existence." I sighed, strumming absently.

"I didn't understand a word you just said." Nudge told me.

"I'm a musician. This is what I do."

**68. Max would never let us worship a small egg-shaped glowy thing.**

"Come on, guys." Max sighed, seeing them bow from all directions and the egg-glowy-thing. "It's a nightlight." She flipped it over, turning it off.

The flock stared in awe, before turning and bowing to Max.

"You can't be serious." She glared.

**69. Max would never let us cosplay as ourselves.**

"OMG!" A girl dressed up as some character squealed. "You're, like, cosplaying Maximum Ride, right?"

The flock nodded hesitantly, faking pushing a button and letting their wings out.

"You did it all wrong!" She exclaimed. "Fang's hair is supposed to be longer, Max should seem more self-confidant, didn't Nudge have, like, boobs in the manga? Iggy and Angel look right, and Gazzy pretty good."

**70. Max would never let us speak like whales.**

"Hello," Gazzy yelled across the room. "Angel!" (A/N: Won't let me write it properly, asuume its super stretched out)

You know, I'm not even gonna do the list anymore It's called FANfiction. Obviously I don't own it.

Also, I'm considering a sequel when this is done. I would change the name of this one to Things Max Would Never Let Us Do (volume one) and then I would do volume two. Would anybody be interested in the sequel? Would you guys keep giving me suggestions?

(On another note, to the people who only typed 'lol' as a review, what made you lol? What could I do better on? I don't consider three letters a review, per se, so even if you only said lol in complete sentence, (e.g. THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD) then that would be a lot better than just lol.)

If you notice any typos, please let me know, so I can go in and fix it.

Nommy (pretend I put a heart here, because last time I tried it ended up saying 33.)


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